(this is a copy of the actual letter that i left on the perpetrator’s windshield)

dear toyota tacoma driver,

thanks for keeping my garage parking spot warm for me while i was away. unfortunately for my car and me, you were still parked in my spot when i returned. as a result, i’ve had to park outside in a temporary parking spot and walk to and from my car in the rain for the past several days. i love getting rain all over me while walking to my car, especially when i own a covered parking spot. that’s right, i own this spot, and you are parked in it. how would you feel if you came home to find a stranger sleeping in your bed, and as a result you had to sleep on your couch or floor? that would be quite an inconvenience, wouldn’t it?

thanks again, and i hope you enjoy the parking spot that i paid money to own. it’s not easy to find a covered spot in rosslyn, and you are one of the lucky devils who found one!

sincerely,

phil, owner of parking spot MP-144