ingredients:

• 1000 sudden road merges and splits
• 30000 bad drivers
• 5000 confusing traffic signs
• 15000 aggressive drivers who have an innate urge to get there quicker (this is where i fit in)
• 1 circular highway of death

mix all components together and distribute evenly over the DC metro area. disaster should be ready to be served within minutes. for even quicker and more compelling results, sprinkle any form of precipitation in any quantity over the entire mixture after distributing, and reapply precipitation during rush hour.