position: maid/chef/masseuse

compensation: $0/hr

hours: noon to midnight, monday to friday. overtime should be expected.

description: job will entail cleaning my apartment, washing my clothes, running my errands, and picking up my mail while i’m at work. dinner should be prepared everyday (cooked or purchased) by 7 PM unless otherwise directed. other evening duties include but are not limited to administering massages while i watch tv, responding when i initiate conversation, sitting quietly when i’m working, and picking up my dirty socks and putting them into my laundry basket.

applicants should be single, attractive girls between the ages of 21 and 25 and must be legal to work in america.

openings are limited; contact me asap if interested.


7 Responses to “immediate job opening”  

  1. 1 lisa

    Merry Christmas!!! What were you doing awake at 442am on Christmas Eve?! How was Utah?

  2. 2 ting

    even tho you think i’d be an excellent candidate.. i dont’ fit the description of single female.. or do i? ;-)

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